New MOOD by Onnit

Is it my fault that my wife’s cheeks are 5 times the size of these ones?

  • Permalink butt Dr.S I have been married for almost 6 years now. My wife has put on a lot of weight in the last couple of years and so have I in an sense I am over 200 for the first time in my life. We have a couple of kids together and we are both under a lot of stress from home and also at work. I somewhat take the blame for her putting on the pounds. I am not the most positive person in the world and sometimes I when I am drinking I just say what I want and really speak my mind saying things like "Why can't you have an ass like this?" and usually I pause the TV and keep the image up for longer than I should. I am somewhat joking and somewhat serious so that's the problem. I would never cheat on my wife by the way so don't pencil me in as some scum bag. Lighten up and just enjoy your boring married life together. Dr.S">Gallery

    Is it my fault that my wife’s cheeks are 5 times the size of these ones?

Dr.S I have been married for almost 6 years now. My wife has put on a lot of weight in the last couple of years and so have I in an sense I am over 200 for the first time in my life. We have a couple of kids together and we are both under a lot of stress from home and also at work. I somewhat take the blame for her putting on the pounds. I am not the most positive person in the world and sometimes I when I am drinking I just say what I want and really speak my mind saying things like “Why can’t you have an ass like this?” and usually I pause the TV and keep the image up for longer than I should. I am somewhat joking and somewhat serious so that’s the problem. I would never cheat on my wife by the way so don’t pencil me in as some scum bag.

Lighten up and just enjoy your boring married life together. Dr.S

I did have a threesome with two hot chicks so I am feeling more than okay

  • Permalink fortune Dr.S I got this from a fortune cookie about a month ago and put it in my wallet hoping it would come true. I was in Vegas for my boy's bachelor party recently and ended up getting real lucky and no I didn't pay for it. I was just lying out at the pool at Caesar's Palace and this smoking hot blonde kept giving me the eye from a few chairs down. Well it was straight out of a porno. I am an above average looking dude and am not flabby at all so it helps. Well long story short we started talking and I met her out later with her friend who was also hot as hell with an amazing ass and I ended up going back to their hotel at the Aria that night blasted out of mind. I took turns banging the living crap out of them and didn't use any protection. I know going in raw dog is risky but it was Vegas and so far no problems here. One of them lives in LA and the other one lives here in NYC by me actually. Plan on seeing her this week so I can hit it again. Sometimes fortune cookies don't lie. Love the site. Keep up the good work. Stink Nation rules. I'm glad you are enjoying the view from up there. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I did have a threesome with two hot chicks so I am feeling more than okay

Dr.S I got this from a fortune cookie about a month ago and put it in my wallet hoping it would come true. I was in Vegas for my boy’s bachelor party recently and ended up getting real lucky and no I didn’t pay for it. I was just lying out at the pool at Caesar’s Palace and this smoking hot blonde kept giving me the eye from a few chairs down. Well it was straight out of a porno. I am an above average looking dude and am not flabby at all so it helps. Well long story short we started talking and I met her out later with her friend who was also hot as hell with an amazing ass and I ended up going back to their hotel at the Aria that night blasted out of mind. I took turns banging the living crap out of them and didn’t use any protection. I know going in raw dog is risky but it was Vegas and so far no problems here. One of them lives in LA and the other one lives here in NYC by me actually. Plan on seeing her this week so I can hit it again. Sometimes fortune cookies don’t lie. Love the site. Keep up the good work. Stink Nation rules.

I’m glad you are enjoying the view from up there. Dr.S

She told me she will experiment in college with the first cute guy

  • Permalink VASELINE104142 We are both going away to college in a couple of weeks. She is going to Indiana and I am going all the way California to study marine biology. We hooked up all summer and then kind of broke things off about a week ago. Well she never let me do anal and I wanted to try it with her and she kept saying she would need a lot of lube and saying crap like "EXIT ONLY Joshua". Yup that's my name. She has one of the tightest asses I've ever seen in Chicago. I think she is kind of getting back at me saying that she will try it with the first cute guy she meets as long as he is cool. I don't know Dr.S but I am kind of jealous and angry at the same time. The guy who actually does put it in her dumper will be one lucky dude. I put in a lot of work and it never happened and this lucky dude will just be able to close the deal without really working for it like I did. Life isn't fair man. I'm sorry you will never be able to annihilate her starfish. ">Gallery

    She told me she will experiment in college with the first cute guy

We are both going away to college in a couple of weeks. She is going to Indiana and I am going all the way California to study marine biology. We hooked up all summer and then kind of broke things off about a week ago. Well she never let me do anal and I wanted to try it with her and she kept saying she would need a lot of lube and saying crap like “EXIT ONLY Joshua”. Yup that’s my name. She has one of the tightest asses I’ve ever seen in Chicago. I think she is kind of getting back at me saying that she will try it with the first cute guy she meets as long as he is cool. I don’t know Dr.S but I am kind of jealous and angry at the same time. The guy who actually does put it in her dumper will be one lucky dude. I put in a lot of work and it never happened and this lucky dude will just be able to close the deal without really working for it like I did. Life isn’t fair man.

I’m sorry you will never be able to annihilate her starfish.

Early reports say this guy’s vomit landed on a single hot chick

  • Permalink barf-2015-07-29-at-7.26.15-PM-625x1024 Dr.S not sure if you saw ESPN the other night. The early reports are saying this dude's projectile vomit at Fenway Park landed on a hot chick who apparently is single. She has no interest in dating the guy who threw up on her and won't even consider a date at Applebee's. I can see why obviously. Who throws up at a ballgame over a balcony? I always point to Molly in situations like this. Dr.S ">Gallery

    Early reports say this guy’s vomit landed on a single hot chick

Dr.S not sure if you saw ESPN the other night. The early reports are saying this dude’s projectile vomit at Fenway Park landed on a hot chick who apparently is single. She has no interest in dating the guy who threw up on her and won’t even consider a date at Applebee’s. I can see why obviously. Who throws up at a ballgame over a balcony?

I always point to Molly in situations like this. Dr.S

My boyfriend turns a small profit restoring stinky dilapidated sofas

  • Permalink sofa601 My boyfriend restores smelly couches to supplement our income. We both have office jobs and we just squeak by. I go out with him before trash day and we load couches into our trailer and then he brings them home and works on them and sells them as if they were brand new. He makes a few hundred dollars sometimes depending on how much work he has to do them. I tell him that there has to be a better way to make an extra buck for us but he says he enjoys it. I can't tell you how many times I get grossed out by it. I mean the amount of semen in those cushions is probably horrendous but he doesn't care. He doesn't even put on gloves when he does the dirty work. I do make him wash his hands after if he tries to finger me though. As long as it fulfills a void inside him it's all good. Dr.S">Gallery

    My boyfriend turns a small profit restoring stinky dilapidated sofas

My boyfriend restores smelly couches to supplement our income. We both have office jobs and we just squeak by. I go out with him before trash day and we load couches into our trailer and then he brings them home and works on them and sells them as if they were brand new. He makes a few hundred dollars sometimes depending on how much work he has to do them. I tell him that there has to be a better way to make an extra buck for us but he says he enjoys it. I can’t tell you how many times I get grossed out by it. I mean the amount of semen in those cushions is probably horrendous but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t even put on gloves when he does the dirty work. I do make him wash his hands after if he tries to finger me though.

As long as it fulfills a void inside him it’s all good. Dr.S

I need to know asap which one is more on point

  • Permalink butts2015-06-11-at-4.11.23-PM Hurry up and tell me which booty is more on point. I don't have all day to wait for an answer. I've been debating for the last few days and can't still make up my mind. I don't even care if they pass the sniff test actually. The one on the right obviously. Dr.S">Gallery

    I need to know asap which one is more on point

Hurry up and tell me which booty is more on point. I don’t have all day to wait for an answer. I’ve been debating for the last few days and can’t still make up my mind. I don’t even care if they pass the sniff test actually.

The one on the right obviously. Dr.S

I did a bunch of Molly in Vegas and now she’s preggers

  • Permalink bugs Dr.S I just had to break the news to my folks on the phone. Over the weekend back in June I did Molly all weekend when I was partying my ass off in Vegas and ended up going on a bang spree. I know there were a couple that I didn't use protection and bingo one of them is preggers and keeping it from what she tells me on Facebook and now I am a daddy. She is a Vegas bartender and I live here in Ohio. I have no plans of moving to Vegas to be closer to my son or daughter. I remember you said Molly ruins lives. You were right. Please pray for me. Very stupid of you to do what you did. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I did a bunch of Molly in Vegas and now she’s preggers

Dr.S I just had to break the news to my folks on the phone. Over the weekend back in June I did Molly all weekend when I was partying my ass off in Vegas and ended up going on a bang spree. I know there were a couple that I didn’t use protection and bingo one of them is preggers and keeping it from what she tells me on Facebook and now I am a daddy. She is a Vegas bartender and I live here in Ohio. I have no plans of moving to Vegas to be closer to my son or daughter. I remember you said Molly ruins lives. You were right. Please pray for me.

Very stupid of you to do what you did. Dr.S

What if he lifts but is also broke living in his mother’s basement?

  • Permalink weights Dr.S please help my friend out. She is obsessed with this dude who is a bodybuilder who is broke. The guy is jacked but still lives at home with mommy. I think he works part time at Jiffy Lube and he is 28 years old. The reason I am writing is that I have a secret crush on my girl friend and I keep hinting at it but she doesn't seem interested. I always ask her why would you go for some huge juicing freak and not give me the time of day. I'm the one with a good job and have my own place but still she blows up his phone all day and already did anal with him from what she told me. It burns me up. Some girls like what they like and you can't ever change that. Dr.S ">Gallery

    What if he lifts but is also broke living in his mother’s basement?

Dr.S please help my friend out. She is obsessed with this dude who is a bodybuilder who is broke. The guy is jacked but still lives at home with mommy. I think he works part time at Jiffy Lube and he is 28 years old. The reason I am writing is that I have a secret crush on my girl friend and I keep hinting at it but she doesn’t seem interested. I always ask her why would you go for some huge juicing freak and not give me the time of day. I’m the one with a good job and have my own place but still she blows up his phone all day and already did anal with him from what she told me. It burns me up.

Some girls like what they like and you can’t ever change that. Dr.S

I am depressed summer will be over in one month on the east coast

  • Permalink flawless-2015-06-11-at-10.04.03-PM Dr.S I am already getting depressed summer will be basically over in one month. I live here on the east coast so it starts cooling down by the end of August. It's not like I can just get up and move. I have a good job here and don't have the option of being transferred. A few of my friends are out in San Diego area and say I should go out there because that's where all the hotties live. They even said I could come out there and live with them for a little until I found something. The thought of seeing chicks bundled up here with layers and layers in a few months is making my stomach churn and once it turns cold their hearts turn even more frigid. I'm seriously thinking about making the bold move. I am an average looking guy but can score with my charm and want to try it out on the west coast where the summer doesn't end so fast. Should I go? I don't understand the fascination with the east coast lifestyle so yes. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I am depressed summer will be over in one month on the east coast

Dr.S I am already getting depressed summer will be basically over in one month. I live here on the east coast so it starts cooling down by the end of August. It’s not like I can just get up and move. I have a good job here and don’t have the option of being transferred. A few of my friends are out in San Diego area and say I should go out there because that’s where all the hotties live. They even said I could come out there and live with them for a little until I found something. The thought of seeing chicks bundled up here with layers and layers in a few months is making my stomach churn and once it turns cold their hearts turn even more frigid. I’m seriously thinking about making the bold move. I am an average looking guy but can score with my charm and want to try it out on the west coast where the summer doesn’t end so fast. Should I go?

I don’t understand the fascination with the east coast lifestyle so yes. Dr.S

I can’t tell if she has poison ivy or if it’s just bad pimples on her cheeks

  • Permalink poison Dr.S I was hoping you could diagnose my poor wife's butt cheeks. First they are massive because she hasn't been on an elliptical in 5 years and secondly the other night she was on her stomach and I noticed a cluster of pimples on both cheeks. The first cluster was on her upper right cheek while the other cluster was kind of going towards the crack on the left one. I kind of yelled "Baby you got poison on your butt cheeks". She said that's impossible because she's never in the woods much less with her shorts off. If it's not poison ivy I have no idea what it could be. I've never seen pimples this aggressive. Once certain butt cheeks reach unimaginable proportions medical mysteries take root. Dr.S">Gallery

    I can’t tell if she has poison ivy or if it’s just bad pimples on her cheeks

Dr.S I was hoping you could diagnose my poor wife’s butt cheeks. First they are massive because she hasn’t been on an elliptical in 5 years and secondly the other night she was on her stomach and I noticed a cluster of pimples on both cheeks. The first cluster was on her upper right cheek while the other cluster was kind of going towards the crack on the left one. I kind of yelled “Baby you got poison on your butt cheeks”. She said that’s impossible because she’s never in the woods much less with her shorts off. If it’s not poison ivy I have no idea what it could be. I’ve never seen pimples this aggressive.

Once certain butt cheeks reach unimaginable proportions medical mysteries take root. Dr.S

She keeps showing me pictures of when she used to be hot in 2001

  • Permalink sunset Dr.S I am dating a fading flower in the sunset. This October she will turn 39 years old. Every time she gets drunk she takes out this shoe box of old photos (like back in the day) and tells me to look at these pictures when she was 22 and 23. Anyways you get the point. I keep saying "Honey it's okay we all age" but she starts crying about it saying she was much prettier and skinnier than she is now and she does have junk in the trunk so I know what she is saying but don't care because I am no spring chicken myself. I am not a complete dickhead Dr.S. I do love her and wish she would stop bringing up her hot pictures when she was so young because Father Time gets us all. Hotties can't stay that way forever son. Dr.S ">Gallery

    She keeps showing me pictures of when she used to be hot in 2001

Dr.S I am dating a fading flower in the sunset. This October she will turn 39 years old. Every time she gets drunk she takes out this shoe box of old photos (like back in the day) and tells me to look at these pictures when she was 22 and 23. Anyways you get the point. I keep saying “Honey it’s okay we all age” but she starts crying about it saying she was much prettier and skinnier than she is now and she does have junk in the trunk so I know what she is saying but don’t care because I am no spring chicken myself. I am not a complete dickhead Dr.S. I do love her and wish she would stop bringing up her hot pictures when she was so young because Father Time gets us all.

Hotties can’t stay that way forever son. Dr.S

My sugardaddy bought me a bolster pillow for my birthday

  • Permalink cylinder_083955 I never even knew about bolster pillows until he got me one for my birthday. I got some jewelry also so don't think it was the only gift. I just turned 25 and he will be 46 next month. I will say it's a lot easier now with the pillow because I can be on my stomach and he doesn't have to work that hard to pummel me from behind. It's easy peazy now actually and I recommend it to any sugar babies out there who have older guys who can't get around as fast as they used to in the bedroom. I really laugh my ass off at this stupid site but keep coming back for more! You can't stay hot forever so milk it I guess. Dr.S">Gallery

    My sugardaddy bought me a bolster pillow for my birthday

I never even knew about bolster pillows until he got me one for my birthday. I got some jewelry also so don’t think it was the only gift. I just turned 25 and he will be 46 next month. I will say it’s a lot easier now with the pillow because I can be on my stomach and he doesn’t have to work that hard to pummel me from behind. It’s easy peazy now actually and I recommend it to any sugar babies out there who have older guys who can’t get around as fast as they used to in the bedroom. I really laugh my ass off at this stupid site but keep coming back for more!

You can’t stay hot forever so milk it I guess. Dr.S

Do flip flips and socks mean that you have given up all hope?

  • Permalink flipflops_111534 Dr.S my boyfriend wears flip flops and socks all the time and I mean in public also. When we were out a few days ago a guy whispered in my ear "looks like your boyfriend has given up on life" and then pointed to his flip flops and socks when he was walking away to refill his drink. I was dumbstruck and didn't even say anything. The guy wasn't even trying to hit on me and I didn't even respond but have been thinking about it for a long time. He really does have no ambition so it makes sense. Was he right? Yes. Dr.S ">Gallery

    Do flip flips and socks mean that you have given up all hope?

Dr.S my boyfriend wears flip flops and socks all the time and I mean in public also. When we were out a few days ago a guy whispered in my ear “looks like your boyfriend has given up on life” and then pointed to his flip flops and socks when he was walking away to refill his drink. I was dumbstruck and didn’t even say anything. The guy wasn’t even trying to hit on me and I didn’t even respond but have been thinking about it for a long time. He really does have no ambition so it makes sense. Was he right?

Yes. Dr.S

He’s real dreamy looking but he’s a monumental cheap bastard

  • Permalink heatstroke182436 I have a confession to make from here in Miami. I am seeing a real hot Latin guy and he's probably the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on. He's also very cheap and I don't know why because he has a job and makes okay $$$. He just won't splurge at all and counts every penny so much so that he keeps the AC on only between the hours of 12 am and 6 am while we are sleeping mostly. I tolerate the fierce heat during the day because he's hot as hell and that's all my confession. There is no way I would put up with this crap if he was an ugly dude. Love the stinky xoxo Ugly dudes can get away with virtually nothing these days. Dr.S">Gallery

    He’s real dreamy looking but he’s a monumental cheap bastard

I have a confession to make from here in Miami. I am seeing a real hot Latin guy and he’s probably the hottest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s also very cheap and I don’t know why because he has a job and makes okay $$$. He just won’t splurge at all and counts every penny so much so that he keeps the AC on only between the hours of 12 am and 6 am while we are sleeping mostly. I tolerate the fierce heat during the day because he’s hot as hell and that’s all my confession. There is no way I would put up with this crap if he was an ugly dude. Love the stinky xoxo

Ugly dudes can get away with virtually nothing these days. Dr.S

My hot chick was a true shower snob to say the least

  • Permalink shower_084048 I have been fortunate in life. I have a decent job and take care of myself and have nice teeth from what I am told and all my hair at 36. Lucky me I guess. Well I hooked up with a dime piece last weekend and we did it on my floor from which I received some rug burns on my knees. When she saw my shower she whispered in my ear “You know I am a shower snob and so tonight’s your lucky night.” Had no idea what she meant until she told me to put it in her dumper when we were in the shower together. Woke up with a huge smile on my face. She was only 24 so it had been awhile since I scored with a younger chick. Pays off to have a nice shower I was told when I was young and now I see why. Hope to see her again next weekend. Shower snobs usually take it in the starfish. Dr.S">Gallery

    My hot chick was a true shower snob to say the least

I have been fortunate in life. I have a decent job and take care of myself and have nice teeth from what I am told and all my hair at 36. Lucky me I guess. Well I hooked up with a dime piece last weekend and we did it on my floor from which I received some rug burns on my knees. When she saw my shower she whispered in my ear “You know I am a shower snob and so tonight’s your lucky night.” Had no idea what she meant until she told me to put it in her dumper when we were in the shower together. Woke up with a huge smile on my face. She was only 24 so it had been awhile since I scored with a younger chick. Pays off to have a nice shower I was told when I was young and now I see why. Hope to see her again next weekend.

Shower snobs usually take it in the starfish. Dr.S

My boyfriend replaced one addiction with another nasty one

  • Permalink rehab193823-1 My boyfriend just got out of rehab. He has been sober for 2 months now. He is a changed man and I do love him. I always knew people replace one addiction with another. Well he did just that. He is now addicted to anal sex and wants it all the time and I don't. Once in awhile it is fine but not all the time. When I say I am not in the mood he says he might fall off the wagon again and blames me. I don't know what to do honestly. I don't want to lose him Dr.S and I don't want my butt hole torn apart. Just remember that your balloon knot is not his punching bag. Dr.S">Gallery

    My boyfriend replaced one addiction with another nasty one

My boyfriend just got out of rehab. He has been sober for 2 months now. He is a changed man and I do love him. I always knew people replace one addiction with another. Well he did just that. He is now addicted to anal sex and wants it all the time and I don’t. Once in awhile it is fine but not all the time. When I say I am not in the mood he says he might fall off the wagon again and blames me. I don’t know what to do honestly. I don’t want to lose him Dr.S and I don’t want my butt hole torn apart.

Just remember that your balloon knot is not his punching bag. Dr.S

My boyfriend is too lazy to use the toilet brush to scrub the bowl clean

  • Permalink IMAG0779 I have a lazy boyfriend as you can see by his stupid feet and yes sometimes he has toe cheese. We fight all the time but he has a trust fund. Let's just say after he makes a major poop he leaves the bowl all nasty and refuses to pick up the brush and wipe the edges of the bowl so I have to do it myself to get the brown gunk off. Yes I've thought about putting on gas mask to get down and dirty but I don't because I have more class than he does. And by the way I am not a slam pig in case you were wondering so don't try to spin it that way. Common courtesy died in 2002. Dr.S">Gallery

    My boyfriend is too lazy to use the toilet brush to scrub the bowl clean

I have a lazy boyfriend as you can see by his stupid feet and yes sometimes he has toe cheese. We fight all the time but he has a trust fund. Let’s just say after he makes a major poop he leaves the bowl all nasty and refuses to pick up the brush and wipe the edges of the bowl so I have to do it myself to get the brown gunk off. Yes I’ve thought about putting on gas mask to get down and dirty but I don’t because I have more class than he does. And by the way I am not a slam pig in case you were wondering so don’t try to spin it that way.

Common courtesy died in 2002. Dr.S

I am now a wealthy man who only goes after real fun bags

  • Permalink realones-1024x1024 I am a successful business man here in California who is now on the hunt. I will tell the world that I only date women with real breasts. At one point I was struggling to start my business and eating mac n cheese and fruit punch for almost 2 years straight until things took off and I became a millionaire. When I was struggling no woman would give me the time of day not even the fat ones. Well now it's my time and I make the rules. If the fun bags are fake she won't be sitting in my Porsche. I need them to be real for me to give the broad a true chance at my heart. Congrats on all your success and never settle. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I am now a wealthy man who only goes after real fun bags

I am a successful business man here in California who is now on the hunt. I will tell the world that I only date women with real breasts. At one point I was struggling to start my business and eating mac n cheese and fruit punch for almost 2 years straight until things took off and I became a millionaire. When I was struggling no woman would give me the time of day not even the fat ones. Well now it’s my time and I make the rules. If the fun bags are fake she won’t be sitting in my Porsche. I need them to be real for me to give the broad a true chance at my heart.

Congrats on all your success and never settle. Dr.S

I’m escaping to pick up my girlfriend who has a cushy temp job

  • Permalink car Just because she works at a temp agency doesn't mean she's not hot. My friends are calling me "TAF" which stands for temp agency fucker. They make fun of her because she has been doing temp work for over 2 years now and say it's not real job shuffling papers around. I don't see anything wrong with it actually. She has one of the tightest asses I've ever seen so as far as I am concerned they are just jealous and I could care less what she does for a living. So what she's' not a high powered attorney or a doctor. I don't care about that. I only care if she's dope, passes the sniff test and of course if it's tight. That's it. End of story. By the way I'm driving to rail her during my lunch break. We both are on lunch breaks at same time in case you cared. Where others see shadows you see the sunlight so that's all that matters. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I’m escaping to pick up my girlfriend who has a cushy temp job

Just because she works at a temp agency doesn’t mean she’s not hot. My friends are calling me “TAF” which stands for temp agency fucker. They make fun of her because she has been doing temp work for over 2 years now and say it’s not real job shuffling papers around. I don’t see anything wrong with it actually. She has one of the tightest asses I’ve ever seen so as far as I am concerned they are just jealous and I could care less what she does for a living. So what she’s’ not a high powered attorney or a doctor. I don’t care about that. I only care if she’s dope, passes the sniff test and of course if it’s tight. That’s it. End of story. By the way I’m driving to rail her during my lunch break. We both are on lunch breaks at same time in case you cared.

Where others see shadows you see the sunlight so that’s all that matters. Dr.S

I popped her cherry then discovered a hidden treasure in the sand

  • Permalink cherry_151525 I came here to brag. I drive a nice Mercedes and actually picked up a cute girl while I was with it. I was at the gas station putting air in my tires and this really hot blonde walked out with a bag of Sun Chips and Red Bull and well she started saying nice car dude and then I was like okay this is an open invitation so I got her number. We had been texting for weeks and went on a few dates and then she told me she was a virgin so I pumped the breaks a little and acted uninterested. Well fast forward a month or so and we go on this nice walk on the beach at night and then I put down a towel to look at the stars and waves and BAM her shorts come off and I am sticking it in and then all of a sudden she feels something cutting her in the back. Turns out it was a nice Movado watch some moron dropped in the sand. Well finders keepers right Dr.S? Took that baby and popped that sweet cherry that same night. Huge score all around in my book. Stay on top of the world as long as you can friend. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I popped her cherry then discovered a hidden treasure in the sand

I came here to brag. I drive a nice Mercedes and actually picked up a cute girl while I was with it. I was at the gas station putting air in my tires and this really hot blonde walked out with a bag of Sun Chips and Red Bull and well she started saying nice car dude and then I was like okay this is an open invitation so I got her number. We had been texting for weeks and went on a few dates and then she told me she was a virgin so I pumped the breaks a little and acted uninterested. Well fast forward a month or so and we go on this nice walk on the beach at night and then I put down a towel to look at the stars and waves and BAM her shorts come off and I am sticking it in and then all of a sudden she feels something cutting her in the back. Turns out it was a nice Movado watch some moron dropped in the sand. Well finders keepers right Dr.S? Took that baby and popped that sweet cherry that same night. Huge score all around in my book.

Stay on top of the world as long as you can friend. Dr.S

We went lemon picking until she got her period

  • Permalink lemon Thought it would be a nice 2nd date to go lemon picking even tho it's over 100 here and it went well up until the end. We picked some nice lemons and then went out for drinks afterwards. When I went back to her place we were fooling around and then all of sudden she leaps up and shouts "It's here!". Crazy I kind of just backed off and was really confused but then realized what she was talking about was her period. There will be no 3rd date fyi because her breath kind of stank. I took most of the lemons anyways. A little stank ain't so criminal. Dr.S ">Gallery

    We went lemon picking until she got her period

Thought it would be a nice 2nd date to go lemon picking even tho it’s over 100 here and it went well up until the end. We picked some nice lemons and then went out for drinks afterwards. When I went back to her place we were fooling around and then all of sudden she leaps up and shouts “It’s here!”. Crazy I kind of just backed off and was really confused but then realized what she was talking about was her period. There will be no 3rd date fyi because her breath kind of stank. I took most of the lemons anyways.

A little stank ain’t so criminal. Dr.S