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She ruined my Mardi Gras beads with her savage balloon knot

  • Permalink IMG_20140730_102537_420 Yeah this is kind of gross but hey I thought I would tell other dudes not to do this. This girl I am banging out had taken a Molly and she was like why don't you try those Mardi Gras beads on me. At first I was skeptical but then I said YOLO because why not I guess. I pulled out a strand and started the insertion. When I pulled them out there were flecks of crap on it and I almost hurled but held it together. She is a hot chick by the way and has a killer ass. Most guys tell me I am lucky but if they only knew the pain I saw when she ruined my Mardi Gras beads with her savage knot. I would dump her immediately to set her straight. Dr.S ">Gallery

    She ruined my Mardi Gras beads with her savage balloon knot

Yeah this is kind of gross but hey I thought I would tell other dudes not to do this. This girl I am banging out had taken a Molly and she was like why don’t you try those Mardi Gras beads on me. At first I was skeptical but then I said YOLO because why not I guess. I pulled out a strand and started the insertion. When I pulled them out there were flecks of crap on it and I almost hurled but held it together. She is a hot chick by the way and has a killer ass. Most guys tell me I am lucky but if they only knew the pain I saw when she ruined my Mardi Gras beads with her savage knot.

I would dump her immediately to set her straight. Dr.S

I need to know if this is true or not

  • Permalink IMG_20140729_172600_295 Please tell me if this sign is true or not because I am lost in life. I am a drunk and probably use blow a few times a week just to feel normal. Do I need a cat and good music to complete myself? It's a silly sign because everyone knows dogs rule. Dr.S">Gallery

    I need to know if this is true or not

Please tell me if this sign is true or not because I am lost in life. I am a drunk and probably use blow a few times a week just to feel normal. Do I need a cat and good music to complete myself?

It’s a silly sign because everyone knows dogs rule. Dr.S

I made a makeshift grave for my last slam pig in my life

  • Permalink IMG_20140724_183355_629 I turned over a new leaf last week. I live in the midwest and would rather not say my city or state. Let's just say girls like to eat out here and they are fat mostly but you can find some average looking ones or slim ones if you look hard enough. Anyways I am in Cali this week for vacation and I have been seeing so many hot slamming bodies. Well I had an epiphany and I decided to make a grave on the beach to symbolize that I won't be banging any more slam pigs in my life. I'm done. First off I know I can do better if I put in more effort and the reason I haven't is that slam pigs are usually so easy to lay on their backs and take one for the team. I'm done Dr.S so here is the grave I made. Please tell the world I have moved on. I'm proud of you son and congrats. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I made a makeshift grave for my last slam pig in my life

I turned over a new leaf last week. I live in the midwest and would rather not say my city or state. Let’s just say girls like to eat out here and they are fat mostly but you can find some average looking ones or slim ones if you look hard enough. Anyways I am in Cali this week for vacation and I have been seeing so many hot slamming bodies. Well I had an epiphany and I decided to make a grave on the beach to symbolize that I won’t be banging any more slam pigs in my life. I’m done. First off I know I can do better if I put in more effort and the reason I haven’t is that slam pigs are usually so easy to lay on their backs and take one for the team. I’m done Dr.S so here is the grave I made. Please tell the world I have moved on.

I’m proud of you son and congrats. Dr.S

Should I still date a hot chick who has a brother with Down Syndrome?

  • Permalink hawt Dr.S I need some real advice. I met a beautiful girl the other night at this bar here in North Carolina. Here's the rub. She's got it all together, good job, banging body (not like the busted the girls that normally like me) and likes me. She always sends me good morning messages and tells me to have a good day sweetie. I have hooked up with her but haven't stuck it in yet but probably can next weekend or maybe the one after that. Anyways she told me she has a brother who is retarded and said she loves him to death and hangs out with him all the time and asked if that would be a problem if we all started going out on the town together. I don't know how I feel about that and I'm not a shallow guy but I think it would make me uncomfortable actually. I told her I wouldn't mind but I kind of do. Her brother is a package deal brother so suck it up or return to your busted legacy. Dr.S">Gallery

    Should I still date a hot chick who has a brother with Down Syndrome?

Dr.S I need some real advice. I met a beautiful girl the other night at this bar here in North Carolina. Here’s the rub. She’s got it all together, good job, banging body (not like the busted the girls that normally like me) and likes me. She always sends me good morning messages and tells me to have a good day sweetie. I have hooked up with her but haven’t stuck it in yet but probably can next weekend or maybe the one after that. Anyways she told me she has a brother who is retarded and said she loves him to death and hangs out with him all the time and asked if that would be a problem if we all started going out on the town together. I don’t know how I feel about that and I’m not a shallow guy but I think it would make me uncomfortable actually. I told her I wouldn’t mind but I kind of do.

Her brother is a package deal brother so suck it up or return to your busted legacy. Dr.S

Please rate my girlfriend’s cheeks on a scale of 1 to 10

  • Permalink cheeks Big fan of the stinky here in Canada. Just wanted you to rate my girlfriend's butt cheeks on a scale of 1 to 10. I give them a 10 and so does she by the way. I would give them a solid 8 because they are lacking some plumpness at the top. Dr.S">Gallery

    Please rate my girlfriend’s cheeks on a scale of 1 to 10

Big fan of the stinky here in Canada. Just wanted you to rate my girlfriend’s butt cheeks on a scale of 1 to 10. I give them a 10 and so does she by the way.

I would give them a solid 8 because they are lacking some plumpness at the top. Dr.S

I tried the pile driver with her and she passed out temporarily

  • Permalink PART951346351860210 It was her idea actually because she saw it on a porno. Well I didn't think I would be able to do it but I actually did alright. For the rookies reading the stinky it's when a girl is lying on her neck and you stand up and ram it in her. Well I guess the blood rushed to her head real fast and she passed the F out and I was slapping her face and thankfully she came back to life when I poured cold water on her face. It was a thrill for a moment. I'm not submitting her face because she has a butter face by the way. Butter faces will try anything these days. Dr.S">Gallery

    I tried the pile driver with her and she passed out temporarily

It was her idea actually because she saw it on a porno. Well I didn’t think I would be able to do it but I actually did alright. For the rookies reading the stinky it’s when a girl is lying on her neck and you stand up and ram it in her. Well I guess the blood rushed to her head real fast and she passed the F out and I was slapping her face and thankfully she came back to life when I poured cold water on her face. It was a thrill for a moment. I’m not submitting her face because she has a butter face by the way.

Butter faces will try anything these days. Dr.S

I am a strip club junkie who doesn’t give money to charity

  • Permalink stripclubs6 I make a really decent living and probably have blown about 30 K at strip clubs this year. My friends make fun of me saying that I could give that hard earned money away to charities and I laugh at them. I don't give $ to charities because I am more addicted to nice asses and great jugs than cleft lips. That's just my brutal honesty and I am at strip clubs about 5 nights a week and here in Phoenix we have a ton of them. I have been known to put a couple of strippers here and there on my payroll but it hasn't worked out for the best even tho the sex has been wild and great. I am just here to say that no one tells a guy with F.U. money what to do with it and I mean no one. F.U. money is king these days so I get it. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I am a strip club junkie who doesn’t give money to charity

I make a really decent living and probably have blown about 30 K at strip clubs this year. My friends make fun of me saying that I could give that hard earned money away to charities and I laugh at them. I don’t give $ to charities because I am more addicted to nice asses and great jugs than cleft lips. That’s just my brutal honesty and I am at strip clubs about 5 nights a week and here in Phoenix we have a ton of them. I have been known to put a couple of strippers here and there on my payroll but it hasn’t worked out for the best even tho the sex has been wild and great. I am just here to say that no one tells a guy with F.U. money what to do with it and I mean no one.

F.U. money is king these days so I get it. Dr.S

I wish my cancer would go away so I could slay more beauties

  • Permalink IMG_20140726_141811_180 I have stomach cancer. I am 55 years old and want to tell all the guys on here to bang as many beautiful girls as you can in your life before it's over. I have about 6 months left and in my life I only have one regret. It's that I didn't slay as many beauties as I think I could have. Instead I got involved in a couple of long term relationships that monopolized most of years. They could care less that I am dying by the way. Heartless if you ask me but that's most women for you. So fellas if you are reading this--please go out there and slay all the beautiful ones for me. That is my last dying wish. Rest in peace my friend. Dr.S">Gallery

    I wish my cancer would go away so I could slay more beauties

I have stomach cancer. I am 55 years old and want to tell all the guys on here to bang as many beautiful girls as you can in your life before it’s over. I have about 6 months left and in my life I only have one regret. It’s that I didn’t slay as many beauties as I think I could have. Instead I got involved in a couple of long term relationships that monopolized most of years. They could care less that I am dying by the way. Heartless if you ask me but that’s most women for you. So fellas if you are reading this–please go out there and slay all the beautiful ones for me. That is my last dying wish.

Rest in peace my friend. Dr.S

He did the condom flip like he was flipping a bat or something

  • Permalink IMG_20140728_124703_853 This guy I met on POF did a condom flip before he was going to be inside of me. When I asked him why he threw the condom he said he wanted to imitate David Ortiz and Yasiel Puig. I had to google them because I had no idea what he was talking about. So apparently he likes to throw condoms like some type of show boating like a baseball player does when he smacks a home run and then flips the bat away. I guess I'm fine with it but it's kind of funny and I guess he thinks I'm hot if he is celebrating like that. I did let him put it in my hershey highway as well because he wasn't that big. Some guys do like to celebrate if they slam it home. Dr.S ">Gallery

    He did the condom flip like he was flipping a bat or something

This guy I met on POF did a condom flip before he was going to be inside of me. When I asked him why he threw the condom he said he wanted to imitate David Ortiz and Yasiel Puig. I had to google them because I had no idea what he was talking about. So apparently he likes to throw condoms like some type of show boating like a baseball player does when he smacks a home run and then flips the bat away. I guess I’m fine with it but it’s kind of funny and I guess he thinks I’m hot if he is celebrating like that. I did let him put it in my hershey highway as well because he wasn’t that big.

Some guys do like to celebrate if they slam it home. Dr.S

Please help us find our lost cat Curley who has dingle berries

  • Permalink IMG_20140726_104038_480(1) Hello Dr.S. I know you are a big animal lover. Our cat Curley has been missing for 5 days now and my husband and I really want him back desperately. If anyone around the Boston area has seen Curley please text or call asap. Curley always had dingle berries hanging from his back side so it should be a clue that it is Curley on the street. Thank you for your help. Please be on the lookout for a huge dingle berry so we can bring Curley home. Dr.S ">Gallery

    Please help us find our lost cat Curley who has dingle berries

Hello Dr.S. I know you are a big animal lover. Our cat Curley has been missing for 5 days now and my husband and I really want him back desperately. If anyone around the Boston area has seen Curley please text or call asap. Curley always had dingle berries hanging from his back side so it should be a clue that it is Curley on the street. Thank you for your help.

Please be on the lookout for a huge dingle berry so we can bring Curley home. Dr.S

What does it mean if she texts me she is on a boat?

  • Permalink IMG_20140726_135936_138-1 This girl I am seeing texted me saying she is on a boat of some rich guy. What does that mean? She's not my girlfriend but we have been hanging out for a few months and I've been sleeping with her. Does this mean this rich guy is sticking it in her poop chute? Please tell me no because she has a tight ass by the way. Sorry but he is going after her P.C for your information. Dr.S">Gallery

    What does it mean if she texts me she is on a boat?

This girl I am seeing texted me saying she is on a boat of some rich guy. What does that mean? She’s not my girlfriend but we have been hanging out for a few months and I’ve been sleeping with her. Does this mean this rich guy is sticking it in her poop chute? Please tell me no because she has a tight ass by the way.

Sorry but he is going after her P.C for your information. Dr.S

How come hawt chicks never pay for drinks?

  • Permalink HAWTjpg Ummm I have a question. My ex friend Jennifer has never paid for a drink in her life. And I always have to pay and so do most of my girlfriends when we go out. I mean sometimes a group of guys will approach us to pay for drinks but it doesn't happen a lot. I know I wasn't born with Jennifer's body out of the womb but does that mean I have to suffer because of the way I am just as an average looking girl? I mean how come I can't have the perks like she does all the time by getting free stuff and going on boats of rich guys? I'm not exactly an ugly duckling by the way. Most guys equate average looking the same as 6 feet underground. Dr.S ">Gallery

    How come hawt chicks never pay for drinks?

Ummm I have a question. My ex friend Jennifer has never paid for a drink in her life. And I always have to pay and so do most of my girlfriends when we go out. I mean sometimes a group of guys will approach us to pay for drinks but it doesn’t happen a lot. I know I wasn’t born with Jennifer’s body out of the womb but does that mean I have to suffer because of the way I am just as an average looking girl? I mean how come I can’t have the perks like she does all the time by getting free stuff and going on boats of rich guys? I’m not exactly an ugly duckling by the way.

Most guys equate average looking the same as 6 feet underground. Dr.S

I make my slam pig watch this for inspiration

  • Permalink weight I've been with my slam pig for almost 10 months now and let's just say I stay with her because of the cheddar. She makes way more than me as an engineer. Well I'm trying my hardest to make her shed the pounds but it's not as easy as you would think. She loves the ice cream, cake, chocolate--basically anything that makes you plump up like a whale. Lately we watch this together and she has cried on occasion because she knows she has to lose the weight. Sometimes when we miss an episode I DVR it so we can watch it together. The worst part is that she eats a tub of ice cream while we are watching it and I scream at her and she starts to cry even more. LOST IN OHIO I think you should hold her hand when she gets on the treadmill. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I make my slam pig watch this for inspiration

I’ve been with my slam pig for almost 10 months now and let’s just say I stay with her because of the cheddar. She makes way more than me as an engineer. Well I’m trying my hardest to make her shed the pounds but it’s not as easy as you would think. She loves the ice cream, cake, chocolate–basically anything that makes you plump up like a whale. Lately we watch this together and she has cried on occasion because she knows she has to lose the weight. Sometimes when we miss an episode I DVR it so we can watch it together. The worst part is that she eats a tub of ice cream while we are watching it and I scream at her and she starts to cry even more. LOST IN OHIO

I think you should hold her hand when she gets on the treadmill. Dr.S

My friend overdosed then crapped herself

  • Permalink coke First off this isn't her but I thought it was the perfect pic for my post. My friend-let's just call her Danielle died two weeks ago from an overdose of blow. She was only 22 Dr.S and she would have been 23 in August by the way. She was going through some crazy crap with her boyfriend who was cheating on her and then started in with coke. Well long story short when one of my friends discovered her on the floor there was blood coming out of her nostrils and she had crapped herself because apparently there was a big pile of it on the floor. Just an awful way to slip out of this world. Can't think of anything worse. May she rest in peace. Getting hit by a bulldozer for me is the worst way to depart. Dr.S">Gallery

    My friend overdosed then crapped herself

First off this isn’t her but I thought it was the perfect pic for my post. My friend-let’s just call her Danielle died two weeks ago from an overdose of blow. She was only 22 Dr.S and she would have been 23 in August by the way. She was going through some crazy crap with her boyfriend who was cheating on her and then started in with coke. Well long story short when one of my friends discovered her on the floor there was blood coming out of her nostrils and she had crapped herself because apparently there was a big pile of it on the floor. Just an awful way to slip out of this world. Can’t think of anything worse. May she rest in peace.

Getting hit by a bulldozer for me is the worst way to depart. Dr.S

Please tell her to fix her chicken legs asap

  • Permalink chicken legsjpg Here's my friend Samantha. She thinks she has the most amazing body in the world. Always shows it off around my friends. Most of my friends ignore all of us when Samantha comes around because they think they have a chance with her and the reality is that she's pay for play actually which they don't even know because everything is hush hush these days. I am just wondering if you can tell Samantha to do something about her chicken legs. Maybe adding some fat to them would be nice to plump her up would make her more of a superstar as you like to say. She does have great grandma sticks going on and it's scary. Dr.S ">Gallery

    Please tell her to fix her chicken legs asap

Here’s my friend Samantha. She thinks she has the most amazing body in the world. Always shows it off around my friends. Most of my friends ignore all of us when Samantha comes around because they think they have a chance with her and the reality is that she’s pay for play actually which they don’t even know because everything is hush hush these days. I am just wondering if you can tell Samantha to do something about her chicken legs. Maybe adding some fat to them would be nice to plump her up would make her more of a superstar as you like to say.

She does have great grandma sticks going on and it’s scary. Dr.S

My slam pig devoured her sucker in 10 minutes flat

  • Permalink IMG_20140712_104951_320 You talk a lot of smack on here about slam pigs. Well guess what my girl is one. She's got a booty the size of stove and I love it. The thing you gotta know is that slam pigs love food just as much as regular people but they eat more of it. My girl just loves candy more than food tho. And I surprised her with this sucker. It didn't take it her long to inhale it. I mean it was gone in maybe 10 minutes and everyone at the airport was really amazed because she put it down before we boarded our flight. A slam pig's talents should always be recognized. Dr.S">Gallery

    My slam pig devoured her sucker in 10 minutes flat

You talk a lot of smack on here about slam pigs. Well guess what my girl is one. She’s got a booty the size of stove and I love it. The thing you gotta know is that slam pigs love food just as much as regular people but they eat more of it. My girl just loves candy more than food tho. And I surprised her with this sucker. It didn’t take it her long to inhale it. I mean it was gone in maybe 10 minutes and everyone at the airport was really amazed because she put it down before we boarded our flight.

A slam pig’s talents should always be recognized. Dr.S

My boyfriend was acting crazy and went after me with a spork

  • Permalink sporks Ummm yeah my boyfriend has a meth problem and I thought he had quit it for good but apparently not. There was a spork on my kitchen counter and when I was on the bed naked he penetrated me with it with the wrong end and it stung like a bitch. Nothing says surprising a woman than trying to enter her with a spork!!! I'm saddened by the spork assault and hope he gets help soon. Dr.S ">Gallery

    My boyfriend was acting crazy and went after me with a spork

Ummm yeah my boyfriend has a meth problem and I thought he had quit it for good but apparently not. There was a spork on my kitchen counter and when I was on the bed naked he penetrated me with it with the wrong end and it stung like a bitch. Nothing says surprising a woman than trying to enter her with a spork!!!

I’m saddened by the spork assault and hope he gets help soon. Dr.S

This happened after 2 Mollies and a few shots of Patron

  • Permalink 2 mollies Just put on her on blast already standing in my bathroom like a deer caught in the headlights. I already submitted her back in March and no I won't put her head shot in because she has a job and I don't want her employers whacking off to her every day she is in the copier room. She took 2 Mollies because she forgot she had already taken one and here is the end result after 3 hours. She put on my ex girlfriend's bra and you can see it doesn't even fit and was walking around my place like a jackass and dancing all over the place and almost knocked over my speaker. I think she even farted but I wasn't sure because it could have been my pug Rocko. Still a major mystery actually. Sound like it was probably Rocko but who really cares actually. Dr.S ">Gallery

    This happened after 2 Mollies and a few shots of Patron

Just put on her on blast already standing in my bathroom like a deer caught in the headlights. I already submitted her back in March and no I won’t put her head shot in because she has a job and I don’t want her employers whacking off to her every day she is in the copier room. She took 2 Mollies because she forgot she had already taken one and here is the end result after 3 hours. She put on my ex girlfriend’s bra and you can see it doesn’t even fit and was walking around my place like a jackass and dancing all over the place and almost knocked over my speaker. I think she even farted but I wasn’t sure because it could have been my pug Rocko. Still a major mystery actually.

Sound like it was probably Rocko but who really cares actually. Dr.S

I just need to know if I should deflower her or not

  • Permalink deflower Dr.S first off I'm talking about the Hershey Highway. She said she has never taken a purple headed yogurt thrower in the exit only area and I need to know if I should deflower it. I can do it Sunday night because she said that's the only time she has available. I honestly hate when chicks say they are always busy and they take pride in having a busy schedule. It's so gay plus she's not even hot as you can tell. I would just quit it before I hit it in this case. Sorry. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I just need to know if I should deflower her or not

Dr.S first off I’m talking about the Hershey Highway. She said she has never taken a purple headed yogurt thrower in the exit only area and I need to know if I should deflower it. I can do it Sunday night because she said that’s the only time she has available. I honestly hate when chicks say they are always busy and they take pride in having a busy schedule. It’s so gay plus she’s not even hot as you can tell.

I would just quit it before I hit it in this case. Sorry. Dr.S

My girlfriend is suffering from a toxic butt injection and I’m to blame

  • Permalink Captureeeejlo52-480x492 I honestly don't know what to say because it's my fault. I kept putting her down and saying your butt will never look like J.Lo's ass. I kept telling her not in a million years and I even put this pic of J.Lo as my desktop wallpaper to remind her of what she didn't have every time she went to check Facebook. Well long story short she went out and got the injections and she got stuffed with mineral oil which has done some severe damage to her cheeks and has actually collapsed her cheeks and turned her butt all purple. Again, I am the one to blame for this and I'm currently going through hell with her. I guess if you are going to put your girlfriend down it's best not to do it every friggin day like I did. She might die. Vice just did a story on this and it was so disgusting. Dr.S ">Gallery

    My girlfriend is suffering from a toxic butt injection and I’m to blame

I honestly don’t know what to say because it’s my fault. I kept putting her down and saying your butt will never look like J.Lo’s ass. I kept telling her not in a million years and I even put this pic of J.Lo as my desktop wallpaper to remind her of what she didn’t have every time she went to check Facebook. Well long story short she went out and got the injections and she got stuffed with mineral oil which has done some severe damage to her cheeks and has actually collapsed her cheeks and turned her butt all purple. Again, I am the one to blame for this and I’m currently going through hell with her. I guess if you are going to put your girlfriend down it’s best not to do it every friggin day like I did. She might die.

Vice just did a story on this and it was so disgusting. Dr.S

I just started to walk again and he went after my starfish

  • Permalink IMG_20140724_125827_896 I was in a horrible motorcycle accident back in January here in Florida. I broke both of my legs and ruptured my spleen. I was confined to a wheel chair for several months and just 2 weeks ago regained mobility. I am at about 90% I would say. I am grateful for my boyfriend for sticking with me this entire time and helping me through all of this. Well just the other night he was drinking very hard and I'm not a big drinker and he suggested to celebrate that we have anal sex. Now he knows very well that even well before the accident that when we did that I hard time walking the next day. I can't believe he had the nerve to bring that up after what I have been through. I am truly disgusted and have not spoken to him in 3 days. He's not a stand up guy if he went after your balloon knot that soon. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I just started to walk again and he went after my starfish

I was in a horrible motorcycle accident back in January here in Florida. I broke both of my legs and ruptured my spleen. I was confined to a wheel chair for several months and just 2 weeks ago regained mobility. I am at about 90% I would say. I am grateful for my boyfriend for sticking with me this entire time and helping me through all of this. Well just the other night he was drinking very hard and I’m not a big drinker and he suggested to celebrate that we have anal sex. Now he knows very well that even well before the accident that when we did that I hard time walking the next day. I can’t believe he had the nerve to bring that up after what I have been through. I am truly disgusted and have not spoken to him in 3 days.

He’s not a stand up guy if he went after your balloon knot that soon. Dr.S