New MOOD by Onnit

They lopped off my wife’s breast so now we are in San Diego

  • Permalink sandiego My wife had breast cancer and we moved a couple of months ago from Maine to San Diego. It's been a real struggle for both of us more so for her obviously. She wanted to experience sunny Cali and I don't blame her for wanting to leave the frozen tundra that we both have lived for the past 10 years. It was a pretty aggressive cancer so they had to lop off her right breast but nonetheless I still love her the same. I'm not one of those dudes on this site who probably up and leave because her life loses a boob or anything. There are good men out there FYI for all you degenerates who think treating women like dog crap is normal. Well I'm here to tell you it's not and is shameful. Compassion with a capital C is always the name of the game. Dr.S">Gallery

    They lopped off my wife’s breast so now we are in San Diego

My wife had breast cancer and we moved a couple of months ago from Maine to San Diego. It’s been a real struggle for both of us more so for her obviously. She wanted to experience sunny Cali and I don’t blame her for wanting to leave the frozen tundra that we both have lived for the past 10 years. It was a pretty aggressive cancer so they had to lop off her right breast but nonetheless I still love her the same. I’m not one of those dudes on this site who probably up and leave because her life loses a boob or anything. There are good men out there FYI for all you degenerates who think treating women like dog crap is normal. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not and is shameful.

Compassion with a capital C is always the name of the game. Dr.S

While my boyfriend was away for a DUI I slept with his best friend

  • Permalink dui I'm sure my boyfriend will find out soon. He recently spent a long time in tent city for an extreme DUI and one night I had a few too many drinks and saw his best friend out and well I hardly remember it. He took me back to his apartment and we had sex and he wanted anal so I gave in to him which is something rarely I will ever do. I don't know what to do if I should tell him directly or let him find out by osmosis. He WILL find out and it won't be pretty so I'm kind of petrified because we never had an open relationship. Try the osmosis route and just see what happens. Dr.S">Gallery

    While my boyfriend was away for a DUI I slept with his best friend

I’m sure my boyfriend will find out soon. He recently spent a long time in tent city for an extreme DUI and one night I had a few too many drinks and saw his best friend out and well I hardly remember it. He took me back to his apartment and we had sex and he wanted anal so I gave in to him which is something rarely I will ever do. I don’t know what to do if I should tell him directly or let him find out by osmosis. He WILL find out and it won’t be pretty so I’m kind of petrified because we never had an open relationship.

Try the osmosis route and just see what happens. Dr.S

Please tell me if I can bang more girls in AZ or Cali

  • Permalink az Dr.S I live in Chicago now and winter will be here before you know it and most girls will be looking like dudes with all their heavy coats. Just wondering if I should move to Cali or AZ because my job would allow me to do it. My boy lives in AZ now and says he bangs a new chick every weekend but I hear the chicks in Cali are way more hotter and legit. Confused in Chicago... In Cali they will be hotter and won't stink. Dr.S">Gallery

    Please tell me if I can bang more girls in AZ or Cali

Dr.S I live in Chicago now and winter will be here before you know it and most girls will be looking like dudes with all their heavy coats. Just wondering if I should move to Cali or AZ because my job would allow me to do it. My boy lives in AZ now and says he bangs a new chick every weekend but I hear the chicks in Cali are way more hotter and legit. Confused in Chicago…

In Cali they will be hotter and won’t stink. Dr.S

I found you a flawless one

  • Permalink flawless Here is your flawless one for the week. Have a good one. Peace. She could be single so I hope she likes Applebee's. Dr.S">Gallery

    I found you a flawless one

Here is your flawless one for the week. Have a good one. Peace.

She could be single so I hope she likes Applebee’s. Dr.S

I typically rattle my wife’s cage when she has a dingle berry

  • Permalink AIR BISCUIT Whenever I see a dingle berry on my wife's balloon knot I like to rattle her cage. I mean I go nuts and make fun of her until she breaks down into tears sometimes. How hard is it to wash properly back there? She has one job to do and she can't even do it right. So annoying to see a little hanging chad and who do you think has to flick it away? Yours truly of course!!! Your pain will not go unnoticed. Dr.S">Gallery

    I typically rattle my wife’s cage when she has a dingle berry

Whenever I see a dingle berry on my wife’s balloon knot I like to rattle her cage. I mean I go nuts and make fun of her until she breaks down into tears sometimes. How hard is it to wash properly back there? She has one job to do and she can’t even do it right. So annoying to see a little hanging chad and who do you think has to flick it away? Yours truly of course!!!

Your pain will not go unnoticed. Dr.S

If she’s boobless would you still make her yours?

  • Permalink booblessa Dr.S I need your advice on a boobless wonder. Would you still be with her if she was incredibly boobless or would you kick her to the curb? I don't have the funds to pay for a boob job neither does she. The boobless deserve unconditional love as well. Dr.S">Gallery

    If she’s boobless would you still make her yours?

Dr.S I need your advice on a boobless wonder. Would you still be with her if she was incredibly boobless or would you kick her to the curb? I don’t have the funds to pay for a boob job neither does she.

The boobless deserve unconditional love as well. Dr.S

She thinks she’s mysterious but she lives in a fly-over state

  • Permalink boobs Hello my name is Michael $#@#$#@. I recently started chatting with this girl on match.com. I live in upstate New York and she lives in the middle of Iowa somewhere. She texted me this pic of her chest and let me tell you she is a complete knockout at 29. I am thinking about going out there but recently had a change of mind talking to her on the phone. She kept telling me how mysterious and enigmatic she considers herself. How can a woman claim to be so mysterious when she lives in a fly over state? I don't get it and by the way I am married also and she doesn't know that. Go ahead and call me a scum bag because I don't care. The other night I had a lot of whiskey and was about to book my ticket but then canceled it. Still might pull the trigger but wanted your advice Doctor stinkstah. Go ahead and try to have a romantic weekend and let me know how it goes. Dr.S ">Gallery

    She thinks she’s mysterious but she lives in a fly-over state

Hello my name is Michael $#@#$#@. I recently started chatting with this girl on match.com. I live in upstate New York and she lives in the middle of Iowa somewhere. She texted me this pic of her chest and let me tell you she is a complete knockout at 29. I am thinking about going out there but recently had a change of mind talking to her on the phone. She kept telling me how mysterious and enigmatic she considers herself. How can a woman claim to be so mysterious when she lives in a fly over state? I don’t get it and by the way I am married also and she doesn’t know that. Go ahead and call me a scum bag because I don’t care. The other night I had a lot of whiskey and was about to book my ticket but then canceled it. Still might pull the trigger but wanted your advice Doctor stinkstah.

Go ahead and try to have a romantic weekend and let me know how it goes. Dr.S

If she doesn’t give it up on the first date I block her number

  • Permalink Screen-Shotttt-2014-09-24-at-11.15.25-AM-480x346 What up Dr.S from Ohio. Just wanted to let you know if I take a girl out on the first date for dinner and drinks and she doesn't give it up I immediately erase her number and then block her. I've done it at least 5 times this year and sometimes the chick will hit me up on Facebook and ask what happened and that's when I block her on FB and give no explanation. Why do I need to explain myself? If I take you out for dinner and drinks her legs better be on my shoulders that night or I say byeeeeeee. Too aggressive? Who cares? Way too aggressive but to each his own I guess. Dr.S">Gallery

    If she doesn’t give it up on the first date I block her number

What up Dr.S from Ohio. Just wanted to let you know if I take a girl out on the first date for dinner and drinks and she doesn’t give it up I immediately erase her number and then block her. I’ve done it at least 5 times this year and sometimes the chick will hit me up on Facebook and ask what happened and that’s when I block her on FB and give no explanation. Why do I need to explain myself? If I take you out for dinner and drinks her legs better be on my shoulders that night or I say byeeeeeee. Too aggressive? Who cares?

Way too aggressive but to each his own I guess. Dr.S

My sugardaddy buys three seats when we travel so we don’t have fatties

  • Permalink airplane I have the best sugardaddy in the world. Whenever we go on trips he makes sure to buy all 3 seats so that we don't end up with a fat person who stinks next to us. I can't tell you how many times that happened to me and it ruined my day. Honestly it has made all the difference because we can stretch out and there is no fat stench. I highly recommend it if there is any sugarbaby out there who has feared that surprising fattie. The fat stench is unmistakable so I get it. Dr.S ">Gallery

    My sugardaddy buys three seats when we travel so we don’t have fatties

I have the best sugardaddy in the world. Whenever we go on trips he makes sure to buy all 3 seats so that we don’t end up with a fat person who stinks next to us. I can’t tell you how many times that happened to me and it ruined my day. Honestly it has made all the difference because we can stretch out and there is no fat stench. I highly recommend it if there is any sugarbaby out there who has feared that surprising fattie.

The fat stench is unmistakable so I get it. Dr.S

I have historically low bang numbers and I might end it

  • Permalink sunset Dr.S please don't give out my email address or anything. I am almost 30 this winter actually I will be and have historically low bang numbers. My magic number has been 3 and my friends make fun of me always laughing that I have only banged 3 girls in my 30 years on this planet. Honestly I feel so low at times because I am not the best looking guy but then again I am not a leper. So I don't know what to do about it. I honestly have been on dating sites and really have had no luck at all. The only girls who want to talk are usually pretty fat with zits and I would just rather jump in front of a speeding train at this point. Do you have any advice? I have already called the suicide hot line when I was drunk and they helped me a little bit. Should I just go to Vegas and bang hookers like my friends say to do? I have the means to do it but I don't want to get AIDS or anything. Just stay in the game because a speeding train is going to pinch. Dr.S">Gallery

    I have historically low bang numbers and I might end it

Dr.S please don’t give out my email address or anything. I am almost 30 this winter actually I will be and have historically low bang numbers. My magic number has been 3 and my friends make fun of me always laughing that I have only banged 3 girls in my 30 years on this planet. Honestly I feel so low at times because I am not the best looking guy but then again I am not a leper. So I don’t know what to do about it. I honestly have been on dating sites and really have had no luck at all. The only girls who want to talk are usually pretty fat with zits and I would just rather jump in front of a speeding train at this point. Do you have any advice? I have already called the suicide hot line when I was drunk and they helped me a little bit. Should I just go to Vegas and bang hookers like my friends say to do? I have the means to do it but I don’t want to get AIDS or anything.

Just stay in the game because a speeding train is going to pinch. Dr.S

Is my girlfriend a loser if she still goes out to the movies?

  • Permalink movies Dr.S I got into a fight with my girlfriend the other night over the movies. What's the point of going to the movies if you can just wait for it to come out on Netflix? I told her only losers go to the movies to buy candy and popcorn and sit in front of the big screen like idiots. What do you think? When's the last time you went to the movies? I last entered a movie theater in 2008 and won't be back. Dr.S">Gallery

    Is my girlfriend a loser if she still goes out to the movies?

Dr.S I got into a fight with my girlfriend the other night over the movies. What’s the point of going to the movies if you can just wait for it to come out on Netflix? I told her only losers go to the movies to buy candy and popcorn and sit in front of the big screen like idiots. What do you think? When’s the last time you went to the movies?

I last entered a movie theater in 2008 and won’t be back. Dr.S

My teenage bulimic girlfriend farted then bloodied my bed

  • Permalink period8_351 Hello I a 23 years old and my girlfriend is 19. She is also a bulimic which means she purges her food after each meal to stay skinny by sticking her fingers down her throat. I have been trying to help her and she is in treatment but it's hard for her to quit doing this. Well because of her condition she has irregular periods and they come on immediately with no warning. The other night she farted big time and then all of a sudden she had her period and I didn't have any tampons in the house so I had to run to CVS to buy some and she basically bloodied my bed and it soaked through the mattress. Why do I stay with her? Well I am whipped honestly because she is so pretty and that's why I put up with it. The stuff that guys will put up with if she has a slamming body is amazing. Dr.S ">Gallery

    My teenage bulimic girlfriend farted then bloodied my bed

Hello I a 23 years old and my girlfriend is 19. She is also a bulimic which means she purges her food after each meal to stay skinny by sticking her fingers down her throat. I have been trying to help her and she is in treatment but it’s hard for her to quit doing this. Well because of her condition she has irregular periods and they come on immediately with no warning. The other night she farted big time and then all of a sudden she had her period and I didn’t have any tampons in the house so I had to run to CVS to buy some and she basically bloodied my bed and it soaked through the mattress. Why do I stay with her? Well I am whipped honestly because she is so pretty and that’s why I put up with it.

The stuff that guys will put up with if she has a slamming body is amazing. Dr.S

I’m a scum bag because I railed her sister before the wedding

  • Permalink wedding This past summer I railed my fiance's 19 year old sister a week before the wedding and she found out about it and the wedding was called off. I feel like a complete scum bag and that's what everyone is calling me. She was the love of my life and now it's over because I took her younger sister to the barn out back and had my way with her. I have started drinking hard and can't believe what I have done all because her sister had one of the tightest bodies I'd ever seen and couldn't resist myself while my fiance was bigger in stature. Complete scum bag move but I don't want to paint the rose red again. Dr.S">Gallery

    I’m a scum bag because I railed her sister before the wedding

This past summer I railed my fiance’s 19 year old sister a week before the wedding and she found out about it and the wedding was called off. I feel like a complete scum bag and that’s what everyone is calling me. She was the love of my life and now it’s over because I took her younger sister to the barn out back and had my way with her. I have started drinking hard and can’t believe what I have done all because her sister had one of the tightest bodies I’d ever seen and couldn’t resist myself while my fiance was bigger in stature.

Complete scum bag move but I don’t want to paint the rose red again. Dr.S

Should I be concerned she’s quiet as a church mouse when I hit her dumper?

  • Permalink ass I just need a little advice. For the past few weeks I've been hitting her dumper and every time I do she's real quiet like a church mouse. I mean I know girls usually aren't that quiet from experience when I am going in the back door. Should I be concerned or just stop thinking about it already? It's like water off a duck's back so just forget it. Dr.S">Gallery

    Should I be concerned she’s quiet as a church mouse when I hit her dumper?

I just need a little advice. For the past few weeks I’ve been hitting her dumper and every time I do she’s real quiet like a church mouse. I mean I know girls usually aren’t that quiet from experience when I am going in the back door. Should I be concerned or just stop thinking about it already?

It’s like water off a duck’s back so just forget it. Dr.S

I had to use my lips to get out of the parking ticket and I regret it

  • Permalink park I had a few drinks before I parked and when I came back an hour later my car was being towed out of its spot. Well I went a little nuts and told the guy I would do anything for him not to take it away. Well he replied anything? Next thing I know I was in his truck wrapping my lips around him and it was completely nasty but I couldn't afford $300 to get my car towed that night. Well for the next few days I couldn't get the taste of him out of mouth. I tried everything even gargling with vinegar but nothing worked. So the inside of my mouth tastes like a dog crapped inside of it and it stinks. I should have gone in debt to pay the ticket!! You sound really basic. Dr.S ">Gallery

    I had to use my lips to get out of the parking ticket and I regret it

I had a few drinks before I parked and when I came back an hour later my car was being towed out of its spot. Well I went a little nuts and told the guy I would do anything for him not to take it away. Well he replied anything? Next thing I know I was in his truck wrapping my lips around him and it was completely nasty but I couldn’t afford $300 to get my car towed that night. Well for the next few days I couldn’t get the taste of him out of mouth. I tried everything even gargling with vinegar but nothing worked. So the inside of my mouth tastes like a dog crapped inside of it and it stinks. I should have gone in debt to pay the ticket!!

You sound really basic. Dr.S

It’s not on the inside what counts so stop saying that

  • Permalink insidejpeg I'm so sick of girls telling me it's on the inside what counts. Most of the chicks who tell me this are so fat anyway. I bet if you poll 100,000 dudes maybe 5 guys will say it's what's on the inside that's important and they would be wrong. I only hit it when the girl has an ass like a snare drum because that makes all the difference. If she's fat her personality is probably great but who really cares about that? I guess this has always been my philosophy because I always smash a 9 or 10 like you see here. If any guy is reading this put away your pecker and stop whacking it to my side piece. Later. Such a stupid expression so I hear ya King Nut. Dr.S ">Gallery

    It’s not on the inside what counts so stop saying that

I’m so sick of girls telling me it’s on the inside what counts. Most of the chicks who tell me this are so fat anyway. I bet if you poll 100,000 dudes maybe 5 guys will say it’s what’s on the inside that’s important and they would be wrong. I only hit it when the girl has an ass like a snare drum because that makes all the difference. If she’s fat her personality is probably great but who really cares about that? I guess this has always been my philosophy because I always smash a 9 or 10 like you see here. If any guy is reading this put away your pecker and stop whacking it to my side piece. Later.

Such a stupid expression so I hear ya King Nut. Dr.S

We had candlelight dinner then she fell down the stairs and broke an arm

  • Permalink candle2 I honestly feel so bad. I'm not here to shame anyone. Met a great girl at work and we ended up going to a nice candlelight dinner and then I invited her back to my place for some drinks. Well she was upstairs in my bathroom and I guess my pug Rocky was lying in a place he wasn't supposed to and tripped her up. I heard this giant scream and then a bang. She broke her left arm when she hit the landing and I actually had to take her to the hospital. So many of my friends are still asking if I closed the deal and of course I didn't she friggin broke a limb before I had a chance to. Always turn on the lights when you let girls wander around your house is the moral of my story. I hope her recovery is speedy and next time tell Rocky to stop being so lazy. Dr.S ">Gallery

    We had candlelight dinner then she fell down the stairs and broke an arm

I honestly feel so bad. I’m not here to shame anyone. Met a great girl at work and we ended up going to a nice candlelight dinner and then I invited her back to my place for some drinks. Well she was upstairs in my bathroom and I guess my pug Rocky was lying in a place he wasn’t supposed to and tripped her up. I heard this giant scream and then a bang. She broke her left arm when she hit the landing and I actually had to take her to the hospital. So many of my friends are still asking if I closed the deal and of course I didn’t she friggin broke a limb before I had a chance to. Always turn on the lights when you let girls wander around your house is the moral of my story.

I hope her recovery is speedy and next time tell Rocky to stop being so lazy. Dr.S

Just wondering if you would or wouldn’t

  • Permalink Screen-Shotttttt-2014-09-24-at-1.53.37-PM Dr.S I guess this is now a hoax from what I am reading but who really knows these days? You can't really know a person completely from what I have learned. So would ya? I quit strange back in 2006. Dr.S ">Gallery

    Just wondering if you would or wouldn’t

Dr.S I guess this is now a hoax from what I am reading but who really knows these days? You can’t really know a person completely from what I have learned. So would ya?

I quit strange back in 2006. Dr.S

She told me I was unappealing because I am short and don’t make a lot

  • Permalink 30k I was out at a bar over the weekend and met what I thought was a cool chick until she started flapping her mouth. She was probably a solid 9 but when she started talking to me I was hoping a bolt of lightening would come out of the sky and strike her while we were on the patio. But it didn't. She told me I was unappealing in her eyes because of my height and when I told her what I did for a living she just scrunched up her nose like I had just smeared dog shit on her face. I went home and went on backpage afterwards to make myself feel better for 30 mins. If you are short and making chump change it will be a rocky road. Dr.S ">Gallery

    She told me I was unappealing because I am short and don’t make a lot

I was out at a bar over the weekend and met what I thought was a cool chick until she started flapping her mouth. She was probably a solid 9 but when she started talking to me I was hoping a bolt of lightening would come out of the sky and strike her while we were on the patio. But it didn’t. She told me I was unappealing in her eyes because of my height and when I told her what I did for a living she just scrunched up her nose like I had just smeared dog shit on her face. I went home and went on backpage afterwards to make myself feel better for 30 mins.

If you are short and making chump change it will be a rocky road. Dr.S

My boyfriend started to laugh when an old lady fell crossing the street

  • Permalink smile I am just here to expose my boyfriend. Last night we were crossing the street after dinner here in Manhattan and an old lady fell basically on her face and her groceries went all over the place. Well I went to help her up and my boyfriend just laughed and continued to cross the street and didn't look back. We got onto a huge fight with me calling him a complete dickhead and he told me will never help old ladies for as long as he lives. He said that old ladies should not be out past 8 pm in the first place. He said the real reason he didn't stop and help her was that he was afraid her dentures were going to fall out and chew his hand off. Is he for real?!!! He has a mental illness so you should stop banging him. Dr.S ">Gallery

    My boyfriend started to laugh when an old lady fell crossing the street

I am just here to expose my boyfriend. Last night we were crossing the street after dinner here in Manhattan and an old lady fell basically on her face and her groceries went all over the place. Well I went to help her up and my boyfriend just laughed and continued to cross the street and didn’t look back. We got onto a huge fight with me calling him a complete dickhead and he told me will never help old ladies for as long as he lives. He said that old ladies should not be out past 8 pm in the first place. He said the real reason he didn’t stop and help her was that he was afraid her dentures were going to fall out and chew his hand off. Is he for real?!!!

He has a mental illness so you should stop banging him. Dr.S

She was arrested for fingering herself on her motorcycle in plain view

  • Permalink finger on motorcyle Dr.S not sure how you didn't read about this story. This 50 year old lady was arrested for allegedly doing a sex act on herself with her garage door open in Florida. Apparently a 13 year old boy witnessed the incident along with his mother and another neighbor. Thought you might find this stinky. That poor kid is going to grow up all twisted now. Dr.S">Gallery

    She was arrested for fingering herself on her motorcycle in plain view

Dr.S not sure how you didn’t read about this story. This 50 year old lady was arrested for allegedly doing a sex act on herself with her garage door open in Florida. Apparently a 13 year old boy witnessed the incident along with his mother and another neighbor. Thought you might find this stinky.

That poor kid is going to grow up all twisted now. Dr.S